| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2010|07:39 pm] |
|
Well, I feel absolutely 100% like shit. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2010|03:32 am] |
|
Almost every night when I am trying to fall asleep, I feel that overwhelming sadness, where your whole chest aches and you feel like it won't ever stop. I don't understand it and I can't keep living like this. I just feel... I think this is where most people say "empty", but that isn't it. I feel full of something that my body can't let go of. I feel like I am constantly screaming for someone to just care. I feel like I can't ever build a friendship or inspire affection in people and I am so lost without those things. I can't remember the last time someone kissed me and meant it. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2009|12:32 pm] |
|
I just want to sit at home and sob right now, bit I'm locked out. I drink way too much every time I go out. I hate what I have become. I don't want to be like this anymore. I can't keep going out and drinking way too much and hating myself for it, and I can't keep sitting at home alone crying because I have no frends. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 6th, 2009|12:09 am] |
This is worse than dying. |
|
|
| A silly entry, perhaps a real one to follow. |
[Nov. 29th, 2009|03:51 pm] |
Bored at work/school/life? Fill 'er out!
1.Your Full Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Rapper/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
HERE COMES THE FUN...
1. Do we know each other outside of the internets?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I’m sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors about me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I’m a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I’m attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if I asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2009|10:37 am] |
Nicky's wedding day!
The groom is still asleep, the bride is missing (in-law's house?) and I'm sitting around blogging. Merp. We need a big cuppa get-up-and-go. I think I should probably go dry my hair and pack my things. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2009|03:28 pm] |
The Velvet Underground - Sweet Jane I used to think I wanted my life to feel the way this song does. And now, when some people like to go out dancing, and other people have to work, I just kind of wonder if anyone who ever had a heart really wouldn't turn around and break it.
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 5th, 2009|02:39 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  listless | ] |
Sometimes when I am having my usual stressed out emotional breakdowns, I need to remember... damn. I love my friends. And even if I'm not happy, I am still happier than I've ever been before. Even when I can't see it. Someone feel free to throw this in my face the next time I am moping (not really, but, you know). |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 1st, 2009|08:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
My dad called today to ask me when my graduation ceremony was, and to tell me how proud he was, and that he was sorry for interrupting my studies to call. I'm sitting around at Our Town, trying to study but mostly just slacking off on Tumblr. I chose not to attend the graduation ceremony. Both he and my mother are heartbroken, as neither of them went to university, but it's too late to apply to go.
In all honesty, the thought of crossing the stage is horrifyingly embarrassing. None of my professors know or care who I am. I have done the bare minimum in all of my classes. I have never turned in anything that I have been proud of. I'm sitting here just feeling miserable about my efforts, ashamed even. I've always been the kind of person who, if I can't do something perfectly, I will simply do nothing at all. I've never felt so horrible about my so-called achievements as I do right now. How many people get the opportunity to attend university, and then waste it entirely? There's not a hope in hell I will ever get into grad school with my grades, meaning I have achieved all I am ever going to achieve.
Essentially, nothing. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 3rd, 2009|12:57 pm] |
I have a crush on EVERY boy.  Jay kay, guys! But actually no, seriously. :\ |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2009|07:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ow857r987wt4e7893457y48*$*$&&^ | ] |
HI JUST HAVING A SCHOOL-AND-WORK-AND-LIFE-RELATED NERVOUS BREAK DOWN.
durr durr durr durr
womp womp wimp wimp whimper whimper
I need 3 more jobs. I am so broke. I am so ready to be done school. Please no more. Diploma now thanks. Urk. Can't sleep. Too much reading.
do do do do do do do more |
|
|
| HI FRIENDS |
[Jan. 22nd, 2009|01:23 pm] |
I have volunteered to pose for my friend Colleen who takes photos. We are doing a shoot in Stanley Park in the fog on Saturday afternoon.
Do you want to pose with me? Please? She'd like to do the shoot with 2 people.
No experience necessary (srsly, I have none).
AWESOME. Come play with me in the park.
|
|
|
| Back to School |
[Jan. 6th, 2009|01:53 pm] |
I fucking hate being in art history because all of the girls are cuter and more fashionable than me and all of the boys are... oh wait. There aren't any boys in art history.
Too late to switch majors? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2008|02:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Cure | ] |
Last night Amelia and I climbed out on the roof to watch the snow. We had Japanese nicotine-free cigarettes and talked about combat boots and dogs and waved at our neighbours as they walked past on the snowy streets. Sitting on the roof is almost like having a tree fort. You can see everything and nobody else can come up there. It was cold but I was content. It's still snowing. I need new boots.
I have a really big late fee at the UBC library so next semester I am going to have to go downtown to take out books to write my papers. Did I mention that I am graduating in May? I think I've told everyone but if not: I am graduating in May. Pretty stoked to become a grown up and get a real job.
I left my kettle on the stove for too long and now it's all burnt. Therefore, I would like a new kettle for Christmas. A red one to match my pots.
I am probably not as happy as I was starting to think I was.
I'm drawing a lot. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2008|05:24 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Mountain Goats | ] |
I pick at scabs.
I can't help it.
I have so many scars.
Literally or metaphorically.
Pick pick pick pick. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2008|03:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
Sometimes harmonicas make me want to cry with sadness and joy.
My heart flutters.
I don't know.
This is the first LiveJournal entry I have ever posted that features the mood "happy". I am trying it out, just to see how it feels. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2008|09:47 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
Women at the Peanut Gallery last night.
Michelle and I had some surprise-sex after the show.
Haven't gotten more than 5 hours of sleep per night in god knows how long.
Just chillin' at home on Sunday in the AM. Hmm.
Still have "Total Eclipse of the Heart" stuck in my head. |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
april_eighth's journal